Corrupted Wishing Well

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

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I shall start. c:

I wish for a pair of cute little rats. <3

Granted, but as you live your life as Shaman, you find out that fighting and being beaten up isn't exactly what you thought it would be like... and now you're hospitalized for having several fractured bones.

I wish the main train-your-Pokemon Pokemon games had better storylines.

granted but now they have such good storyline the game designers cut everthing else including a menu screen.
I wish for a pie I actualy liked to eat

Granted, but as you're walking to the table you trip and it falls to the ground.

I wish Disney Channel had some good shows :T

Wish Granted, But the show gets canceled do budget cuts
I wish I knew every move of pokemon by heart

granted but that is the only thing u can remember
I wish I could get a good pc game

[Lmao, i know all the old moves by heart. Its actually kind of sad...]

Granted, but when you buy it, you realize it is a fake game and you just got scammed.
I wish my brother would stop playing Ratchet: Deadlocked

Granted, but now he plays an even more annoying and idiotic game
I wish to be an assassin

granted but at the ceremony u get for becoming one your assainated
I wish for the power to create super novas

Granted but you end up exterminating all life on earth
I wish I could draw Milotic.

Granted, but the Milotic drawing comes to life and drags you into the drawing.

I wish the ants in my house will go away.

Granted, but now your house is infested with spiders
I wish for FOOOOOOOOOOOOD

granted,you get a millimeter sized crumb. and you chock on it.

i wish i had a fez and a bow tie

Wish granted, but your tie is evil and kills you

i wish rebecca black could sing better

granted but before she releases the first new cd you loss your hearing
I wish for millions and millions of pizza

Granted, but they're all topped with toppings that you hate!

I wish I had more motivation.

Granted, but you are motivated only to scoop up cow poop.

I wish I was more muscular. >_>

Granted, but you're so muscular that a nearby circus decides to kidnap you and put you in a freak show. Also you grow a mustache due to your masculinity.

I wish there were more books in the Firekeeper saga.

granted but then their only like two pages long and there are only two more.
I wish my sister would find the rest of the manga's she owes me XD

she finds them, but she hands them to you completely shredded
i wish i could make sushi

Granted, but you can only make really bad sushi.

I wish that this wish was not evil in anyway.

Granted, but it is so good it puts angels to shame. So, they take the wish and destroy it, along with you.

I wish Laurel will hurry it up with adding new dungeons. >_<

Granted, but now there's so many dungeons everyone died under them all.

I wish for a pet puppy thats a cute little angel.

granted but truly it was a devil hiding beneath angel wings
I wish there was something to do in my house

Wish granted, but it's doing terrible chores.

I wish new Naruto Shippuden episodes come more faster.

Granted, but they came so fast that you missed all of them.

I wish for a Tasmanian Devil to clean up my brothers room (>:3)