Corrupted Wishing Well

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

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I shall start. c:

I wish for a pair of cute little rats. <3

(FINE!I'll just make a fresh batch)

Granted,but the quote is to long and hard to understand,and everyone dies of confusion

I wish I could have some flour
(You need flour to make cookies!)

Granted, but the flour explodes all over you.

I wish I had more patience.

Granted, but you didnt die, and just lay there in pieces.

I wish i could be bothered to colour my text.

Granted, but the color you choose is the same color as the forum background, and nobody can read it. What's worse, it seems that you can't change it back and it becomes permanent!

I wish this bug would stop flying over me.

Granted, but then it lands on you, and keeps dodging when you try to swat it.
I wish that i knew what to wish for.

Granted but it chewed all your furniture, then got stolen because it was one of a kind

I wish Pokemon were real XD

Granted, but because of the incredible amount of violence involved with battling Pokemon, many people die and society eventually falls.

I wish I had a spare bookmark with me. :C I want to read my new book but the ones I have right now are being used.

LOL

Granted, but it is really a shapeshifter and turns into a shark and eats you.

I wish i had more inspiration to draw.

gfdja;oijfosidfjvobihe
/dead

Granted, but you're unable to draw what comes to mind and you end up tearing up all of your drawing paper in frustration. Even the blank sheets.

I wish spam didn't exist.

granted,but then they invent something even worse then spam
i wish i could find something to eat for breakfast x.x

Granted but it turns out to be really disgusting.

I wish spark would post XD

Granted, but you find that its broken

I wish Nintendo would stop making new consoles.

Granted but then you get his allergies.
i wish i could post really fast XD

Granted, but you wear your fingers down into stumps.

I wish....

xD

Granted, but someone shot an arrow at you and you plummeted to the ground.

I wish I had the confidence to sing infront of people.

granted but then you were horrible and people laughed.
i wish i could play the flute well T-T

Granted, but over time your evolved into a giant head and had to get people to push you around in a glass jar.

I wish i had more wishes that i wanted to wish for.

granted but then all your friends and family died and you were all alone and couldnt find any more friends.
I wish... i had a yo yo XD

Granted, but it snapped into two.

I wish i had a punnet of perfect strawberries, thgat werent moldy.