New Fanfic I'm making

Two figures ran through a dark forest with only the light of the moon to guide them along the dangerous forest path. Both were panting wildly as they ran, though neither tried to stop and rest.

“Hurry! He’s catching up!” the one in the front panted.

“Easy for you to say! You’re the one on four legs and not carrying the loot!” the other one growled slightly.

As they argued while running a dark figure bounded towards them quickly, his yellow eyes shining in the dark night as if they were two stars. The figures’ forms came into view when they entered a field, revealing the two running to be a Glameow and Medicham and the one chasing them to be a Luxray.

“Stop now!” the Luxray roared as he cut off the two Pokémon’s route.

“No! We were so close!” the Glameow growled skidding to a stop.

“What now!?!” the Medicham said grabbing the bag hanging on her side.

The Glameow looked around, she knew there was no hiding from the Luxray. He was famous for being able to see anyone, even if they were hiding underground. His stamina was also incredible, as he's been able to chase them for over a week now with little rest.

“Give me the bag now and I won’t harm you!” the Luxray yelled at the two Pokémon.

“Ha! We’ll never give you our loot!” the Glameow purred.

“Very well, you have only worsened your fate then,” the Luxray said as the air in the clearing began to charge with electricity.

“Rika! He’s going to use Discharge! We have to get away!” the Medicham said backing up.

“What’s the point? He’ll just keep following us, might as well fight him here,” Rika said bracing herself.

The Luxray fired a huge amount of electricity consuming the clearing and the Pokémon in it. When the light from the attack faded he walked up to the two downed Pokémon in front of him.

“Hmph, for someone of your level I thought you’d have taken more. Oh well, you two outlaws are going in for are-“ he was caught off as the two suddenly got up and hit him with extremely powerful attacks and ran off.

A voice called out to the Luxray who lay in the clearing unconscious, “Hello? Are you okay? C’mon wake up.”

He groaned in return and struggled up, cursing to himself for falling for the trick those two outlaws pulled off. He looked up and saw a Pichu looking up at him worriedly.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just give me a minute to get my focus back,” he said feigning a smile.

The Pichu didn’t seem convinced and kept looking at him worriedly.

“My name’s Seatha, what’s your’s mister?” the Pichu said.

“Ugh, Darkshock,” he responded.

The Pichu’s eyes suddenly brightened and she smiled widely.

“As in the Darkshock? Leader of Team Discharge?” she said excitedly.

Darkshock groaned, Great…a fan…just what I needed…, he thought to himself and sighed, “Yes that Darkshock.”

“What are you doing all the way out here away from your hometown? Why were you knocked out right here? Were you chasing some outlaws? Did they do something mean and trick you? Huh? Huh? Huh?” she asked eagerly.

“First, calm down, second, I’m chasing a pair of outlaws who use Faint attack to fool me, which is why I was knocked out,” he said unenthusiastically, if he hated anything more than a setback, it was one seen.

“Wow! Oh…wait…I see your badge…but where’s your treasure bag?” Seatha asked tilting her head.

“Why it’s right he-,“ he stopped when he noticed his treasure bag was missing from his side, “Those crooks! They weren’t satisfied with the stuff they stole and tricking me! They had to steal my treasure bag too!?!” he growled loudly and sparks flew from his fur as his anger grew and grew.

“Um…excuse me,” the little Pichu said.

Immediately calming down Darkshock looked down at the Pokémon.

“Yes? Is there something you need?” he asked, he hated it sometimes, but he couldn’t ignore a child no matter the circumstance.

“If you need to restock, you can come to the town I live in, there’s a guild there, I bet Raksor could help you,” she said smiling.

“Raksor!” Darkshock said surprised, Raksor was a Trapinch he had traveled with during his stay in the Southern Deserts, when they parted, she had evolved into a Vibrava and was committed to becoming an explorer, but he never expected her to reach the Guild Master rank, let alone accept it, he himself refused the rank when the Exploration Team Federation offered it, “Um…yes, that would be nice, I’ll need to inform the guild and officer of the town that two outlaws are in the surrounding area.”

The Pichu smiled and began walking with him following.

Chapter 2
Distrey Town

Some hours later the pair entered a small town, unlike Darkshock’s hometown which is usually bustling with activity and shops, this town was much quieter, he faintly remembered when his hometown was like this…

“C’mon Darky! The new guild just opened! We can become an exploration team like we’ve always dreamed of!” a Ralts said shaking the little Shinx, which was DarkShock at the time, up.

The Shinx groaned a bit then got up and yawned, “It’s too early Sria, I don’t even think the guild master is up at this hour,” he said seeing that the sun hadn’t even appeared over the horizon.

“So? I’m sure the guild master will wake up when he or she hears of two Pokémon wanting to join the guild!” she said gleefully as she Teleported herself and DarkShock to the guild…

“HIYA!”

DarkShock was torn back into reality and immediately tensed up charging up an attack when he noticed it was a Minun and Plusle speaking towards him from a shop.

“Um…sorry, didn’t notice you,” he said relaxing acting as if he didn’t notice Seatha looking at him worriedly again.

“No, no, it’s quite alright, we were the ones who called you out, it’s not often we see two new faces traveling together in town,” the Minun said smiling.

“Two new faces? But doesn’t Seatha live here?” DarkShock said looking at the Pichu.

“Oh! Seatha! You little trickster! Quit teasing the Pokémon and go into your actual form,” the Plusle saying giggling to herself.

“Actual…form?” Darkshock said when he saw the little Pichu jump up and glow brightly as she turned into a Zorua.

“Sorry for tricking you, but I thought you’d feel more comfortable with an Electric Type than a Dark Type,” she giggled stretching.

DarkShock sighed, not only had he been tricked by two outlaws, but by a child too, this was turning out to be a very unlucky day for himself.

“Anyways, I see you’re unsupplied, yet your badge shines brightly, and a high ranking explorer you are too, I’m curious as to why you don’t even have a treasure bag with you,” the Minun said, he was clearly becoming suspicious.

“Two crooks had used Faint Attack on DarkShock and stole his treasure bag,” Seatha said in return.

“Oh I see…wait, DarkShock!? Oh my! You must be the Luxray Raksor talks to highly of! You must have gone up against some powerful opponents to have been defeated if what Raksor said is true,” the Plusle said walking around DarkShock inspecting him as if he were an item she was making sure was good to sell, “You are very well built, even for a Luxray, I’ve never seen a Luxray with such silky fur, with all that electricity you can create, I would expect it to be full of static and knots.”

“Um…thank you…I guess?” DarkShock said feeling a bit embarrassed, people have complimented his attacks or speed or strength, but never his fur, or any part of his body for that fact.

“We’re going to go to the guild to see if Guild Master Raksor can help DarkShock out in this,” Seatha said smiling.

The Minun nodded and began sifting through some bags then pulled out something in a cloth and set it down in front of DarkShock, “This is a treasure I was given, it’s very valuable, but I have no use for it, I want you to take it,” he said unwrapping the cloth revealing a Blue sphere with electricity sparking inside of it.

DarkShock’s eyes widened as he recognized the item, “T-this is a Thunder Sphere…it’s the ultimate Electric Type item…how did you find this?”

The Minun looked at the Luxray, “I think a friend of yours had come here once, she gave it to me and told me to give it to the Luxray with the silky fur,” he said bluntly wrapping the item back up in the cloth and pushing it to DarkShock.

DarkShock nodded, he knew who had come…

“Hey DarkShock! Look at what I found!” Sria said as she gingerly picked up something, she was a Kirlia now.

“What?” DarkShock walked up to her, he was still an Shinx, he decided not to wait on evolution, he was afraid of losing himself to his new form, ad he had no idea how that form would act.

The Kirlia showed DarkShock the Thunder Sphere, “Isn’t it pretty? And it also looks good for you!” she giggled.

DarkShock eyes widened as he saw the item, “The power coming from this…it’s incredible! I wonder what this is used for,” he said as he took the sphere and looked at it.
A Rhydon roared behind the pair and summoned a powerful Earthquake, Sria Teleported on instinct but forgot to grab DarkShock. DarkShock grabbed onto the item and braced himself, moments passed but DarkShock felt no pain from the attack, he looked at the item he held, did you do this?, he thought…

“DarkShock! DARKSHOCK!” Seatha was in DarkShock’s face when he snapped back into reality.

“Wh-What!?! I’m fine!” he said, “I was just remembering something,” he gingerly picked the Thunder Sphere up and nodded to the Minun and Plusle then looked at the Zorua.

Seatha sighed, “Alright, let’s go…” she waved to the shopkeepers and padded towards the guild.

I just noticed that this seems to be making my char seem "perfect" please note that this is just a fanfic with DarkShock, and is not the exact same as he would act or be in the rp also these are not the original fanfics I made, they are revisions, as the original fanfics have explicit scenes and vulgar language,

Thank You for Reading
~DarkShock

Chapter 3
Guild Master Raksor

DarkShock looked up at the guild entrance that stood before him. Like most guilds, the guild was in the shape of the Guild Master. Unlike most guilds, this guild was completely above ground. There seemed to be 6 main parts, all made to look like a Flygon on all fours, as if ready to take off for flight. DarkShock looked at Seatha confusedly.

“I think that old friend of yours also helped make the guild,” she said smiling, “Guild Master Raksor’s room is in the center of the guild. The guild recruit rooms are in the legs and arms. And the mess hall is the tail. Oh the wings are a battle arena, Pokémon can pay to see the guild members and other Pokémon fight, it helps fund the guild and its good training for the recruits.”

“You seem to know a lot, are you a part of the guild?” DarkShock asked curiously.

Seatha shook her head, “No, but I do participate in the arena battles, Raksor says that I can help the recruits learn about strategy by becoming a type that is strong against them,” she said smiling then noticed DarkShock’s worried face, “Don’t worry, I’m healed completely after every battle, and Raksor ends the battle if someone looks like they’re about to faint soon.”

DarkShock nodded and looked back at the guild, “Raksor was always careful, once we had defeated a Steelix, once he fell she immediately gave him an Oran berry…Few explorers these days stop to help out Pokémon they’ve defeated, even I left Pokémon to suffer, after seeing her do that I always carried extra berries to help Pokémon,” he said smiling.

“Hey DarkShock…” the Zorua looked at him curiously, “How many members are in Team Discharge? I know it’s famous, but mainly only cause people praise you, not your team members…”

DarkShock knew exactly what she was talking about, even though he wasn’t the only member of his team; he was praised the most…

“I’m sorry but Team Discharge doesn’t wish to answer any more questions,” a Gliscor said closing the gate to the guild from a group of Pokémon wanting to speak to the already famous team, “Phew…” he sighed heavily then he turned to the Kirlia and Luxio sitting behind her, “Dear Arceus, its one accomplishment after the other. If it keeps on like this they might want you two to replace me!” he chuckled.

“Everyone in the region knows you could beat us easily,” Sria said smiling, “We could never replace you Corso."

DarkShock only nodded; ever since he evolved he’s been much quieter. The reporters starting to hound them didn't help.

“What’s the matter DarkShock? You seem distressed…” Corso said noticing the Luxio’s depressing atmosphere. Unlike when he was a Shinx, the air around the Pokémon has become quiet, sad, very unlike the energy and happiness he spread in his pre-evolved form.

“They weren’t saying Team Discharge…” he said bluntly still hearing the muffled yells of the reporters.

Sria looked down and became silent. Since the reporters started following them, they began calling out DarkShock, not the team. Three Pokémon had quit the team because of this, and DarkShock even mentioned quitting exploration so the team would get recognized.

“Don’t worry about what they say, you are the symbol they use for Team Discharge. It only makes since, you are an Electric type and your Discharge is famous itself for its power,” Corso said smiling, “Just remember that you are a team, nothing can change that. Now go to bed, the guild’s new Gold Rank members must get their rest after a long day.”

With that, the Gliscor jumped up and glided down to his room. The two Pokémon padded towards their own, the guild Pokémon didn’t praise them as they passed They knew the two were getting tired of the congratulations…

“DarkShock? You still there? You haven’t answered me,” Seatha said looking at him.

“Huh? Oh sorry…there are 2 members who were part of a guild. Since then the team grew to 60 members, but most of them go on separate assignments. And a few became individual teams because of their closeness. We do not mind it, we actually advise it, as then the team becomes much more organized with fewer members. And we still keep contact with our old members of course,” he said sitting down.

“Oh, wow, so what teams used to be part of yours?” she asked eagerly.

DarkShock laughed, “How about we focus on the task at hand? I’ll tell you what you want to know later,” he said smiling.

“Oh, OK, then let’s hurry and get you ready to catch those crooks!” the Zorua said bounding onto the grating of the guild while turning into a Flygon giggling mischievously to herself.

“Footprint detected, footprint detected!!!” a voice called from underneath the grating.

“Whose footprint is it?” another voice called from underground.

“Um…the footprint is…guild master Raksor’s?” the first voice said back.

“What? But the guild master’s been speaking to those reporters all day hasn’t she sentry Srere?” the second voice said back.

“Yes, but this footprint looks exactly like hers,” Srere said.

“Seatha, quit fooling around,” DarkShock said loud enough for the voices underground to hear.

“AH-HA! Seatha!!! You know you shouldn’t be tricking us like that!” a shiny Fraxure said crawling up from the cliff nearby.

“Yeah! You always make me look dumb!” Srere said appearing out of the ground as a Shuppet.

Seatha giggled when she had turned back into a Zorua, “Sorry, it’s just too funny,” she said innocently.

DarkShock stepped forward, “I am here to speak with Raksor and the leading officer of the town,” he said in a commanding tone, his badge shined brightly against his dark fur.

The Shuppet and Fraxure recognized the badge as a high ranked one, but they became suspicious when they didn’t see a treasure bag.

“Oh yeah? How come? You’re either an outlaw acting like an explorer or a very bad one. Either way you shouldn’t be wearing that badge,” the Fraxure said as he made a move to grab the badge.

DarkShock immediately became aggressive and Crunched down onto the Fraxure and tossed him into the Shuppet, “I am no outlaw or a bad explorer! Now stand aside so I may speak with your guild master!” he yelled, growing sparks were appearing off of his fur they made snapping sounds as they winked out of existence.

The Shuppet immediately activated an alarm with his psychic abilities, in moments DarkShock was surrounded by 20 Pokémon. Though for some reason the guild master didn’t seem to be there.

DarkShock looked around him, “Seatha, get behind something. I don’t want you getting hurt,” he said as electricity began to envelop him.

Seatha ran behind a tree. She knew not to get in the way of a battle with moves like DarkShock’s. She already knew that the Pokémon would be healed after this battle, so she didn’t worry much at all. DarkShock roared as he released a huge amount of electricity enveloping the area in a bright light.

Seatha peered out from behind the tree to see what damage was done. Her eyes widened as she saw all of the Pokémon who had surrounded DarkShock were on the ground. The surrounding area had blackened except for the guild as if a dark shadow draped itself over the area. She had heard stories of DarkShock’s amazing power, but what she saw was much more than she imagined, even Pokémon who were strong against Electric Type attacks had fallen to the amazing power of his Discharge.

“My, my, you always were bad at making new friends DarkShock,” a Flygon said as she landed by the Fraxure and began pulling Oran berries out to feed to the Pokémon, “But did you really have to do this much damage?” she sighed looking at the burnt and blackened area.

DarkShock looked around and sighed, “Sorry, Raksor, I’ve been tested enough...My patience and temper have yet to become normal.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, we’ll easily revive the area,” she said as the last Pokémon got up groaning, “Alright everyone! Line up! Time to introduce ourselves to our new guest!”

"My, my, you always were bad at making new friends DarkShock."
xDD I like Raksor already.

This is really good so far! The only suggestion I really have is to watch out for run-on sentences -- you use a lot of commas where periods would make the text flow more, though it's still readable. ;3 Can't wait to read more!

-3- I'm terrible wit run-ons, my teacher always said my papers were like runny noses and thanks, I'll try editing it some here and there to fix the run ons

Lol, runny noses. x3 You're welcome~ and can't wait to read more!

sorry it's taking me a few days to put in chapter 4, the reason why is revisions because it's mainly a flashback of DarkShock, and it contains sexual content XP