Corrupted Wishing Well

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

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I shall start. c:

I wish for a pair of cute little rats. <3

(NOOO RPING CAN NEVER BE DULL DX)

Granted, but you sang so well that all the glass in the world broke, and the government blamed you for hundreds of people's deaths DX

I wish David Tennant could have a cameo appearance in a Doctor Who children in need Sketch or something.

granted but then he had lost his charm as the doctor of years with no practice and you hated the program.
i wish that the doctor who series lasted longer DX

Granted, but because there were so many more episodes, the budget for each one was cut and the plotlines were crappy.

I wish that Idris/Sexy/TARDIS hadnt have 'died' in such an emotional way.

granted,but then the scene was dull because all she did was die XD
i wish this stamp on my hand would wash off

Granted, but you wash off five layers of skin with it.

I wish people wouldnt commit suicide.

granted but then the world becomes filled with depressed people even more depressed because they cant commit suicide (lol thats jacked up i feel bad now XD)
i wish i could sleep at night XD

Granted, but then you sleep through the whole day.

I wish that i could post longer posts like what i just did, more often.

granted but then people get annoyed with reading long posts all the time and abandon the site
i wish i could find the right song (i love you owlcityyy )

Granted, but then you play it again and again then get fed up of it.

I wish that Eevee had more eeveelutions.

granted but then you cant keep track of them because there are so many
i wish i had all the owl city songs on my ipod XD

Granted, but then you had to pay a lot of money for copyright issues with songs they haven't released yet

I wish the scientists in Pokemon will figure out how pokemon mate (even though its OBVIOUS)

granted but then they made the daycare man explain it all and it was gross and time consuming XD
i wish that it wont storm tonight >>

granted, but it will storm for weeks after tonight

I wish for more wishes

Granted,but all your wishes never come true

I wish my cookies wern't in the toilet

Granted, but they're now in Laurel's mouth

I wish for chocolate icecream

(ew they went from the toilet to Jay's mouth x.x)
Granted but its actually dog poop,it just looks like chocolate ice cream
i wish for a clown? XD

Good god, this game became popular fast. o_o

Granted, but he follows you around wherever you go, incessantly honking its big red nose and spraying you with water from a cleverly disguised water squirter (shaped like a flower!).

I wish this wifi would work right. >_>

Granted, but then everyone steals your wifi and it stops working again.
I wish my sister didnt eat the last cupcake D:<

Granted, but when you go to eat it, you accidentally drop it in some chicken soup your mom's been making. Whoops!

I wish this computer's microphone would stop being buggy.

*Bee Dee Beep* Please hold as we have too many customers wishing today, your estimated waiting time is 29874638552672536575454756352425 years and 5 business days, thank you for choosing The Wishing Well. (I didn't know what to say XD)

I wish for a freshly cooked Wendy's with nothing wrong with it

Granted, but as you open the bag, the smell of perfection wafts over to a passing man. Taking a whiff, he suddenly turns towards you and makes a grab for the bag. Before you can react, he's taken it from you and run away, into the crowd.

I wish packing bags was easier.

Is too busy chasing the man with my Wendy's to grant any wishes

I wish for a working machine gun >

Granted, but since you haven't acquired a gun license, the police seek you out and arrest you, taking the machine gun into their possession.

I wish this ringing sound that someone's making outside will just stop. x___x

Granted,but then a louder ringing sound starts

I wish my cookies wern't in Laurel's mouth (I WANT MAH COOKIES!)

Granted, but she spits them in your face XD

I wish that i could find an epical meaningful quote to suit my character.