The Best of Friends Come in Many Packages.

Juliet was in the kitchen making tea one fine morning. She had pulled an all-nighter the night before but she was in that strange state of feeling hyper and not tired in the least. She carefully prepared to poor the hot water into her cup, trying to avoid another incedent like the day of the awakenings.

"JULIET!" Riley rushed out from some random spot and tackle hugged the girl who stood by the stove, innocently making tea. Unfortunately, this caused a repeat of the hand-scalding incident of a few days ago. "Oops." She grinned sheepishly and began rooting around for ice. "Are you alright?" She asked the blatantly obvious question although she knew somewhere in the back of her mind it would only irritate her friend. Although, she wasn't sure they could be called friends. It was a peculiar relationship between the two.

Riley scared Juliet so much that this time she didn't just spill the water on her hand, but she ended up dropping the hot kettle on her hand as well. "OWCH. Yes, but I am in DIRE NEED of ace wrap. And ice. Because my hand has been boiled." Juliet responded clenching her other hand in a fist of pain.

"Well now Jules! No need to get so snippy with me!" Riley barked, slamming the bag of ice she had gotten down hard on the table. "We don't just have a bunch of ace bandages lying around now do we?" Suddenly, a mischievous look took over the aviatrix's face. She turned around and a small ripping sound could be heard. When she turned back to Juliet, she was holding a piece of cloth and there was a piece missing from her skirt. (Relax children she's wearing shorts underneath the skirt XD) Of course, the piece was torn from an... interesting area. "Here you go, Juliet. Come now, wrap your wound with my crotch cloth." She cackled deviously and began closing in on the injured hand.

"NO, I WILL NOT WRAP MY BOILED HAND IN YOUR CROTCH-CLOTH!!!!" Juilet exclaimed in protest. "THERE ARE PLENTY OF FIRST-AID KITS AROUND, ONE OF THEM MUST HAVE ACE BANDAGES!!!!" she added, holding her wounded hand defensively away from the evil crotch cloth.

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO HELP A FRIEND, JULES!" Riley snapped, hurling the crotch cloth at Juliet. Suddenly, she caught a whiff of something. "Wait a minute. Is that... Is that ONION RINGS!?" Whipping around, she caught sight of the god-food on the table. "Ooooh yes. Ultimate food of peace." She skipped over to the table and indulged herself in the wonders of onion rings. "Jules! Onion ring party!"

Juliet just barely dodged the evil crotch cloth as it was thrown at her. "Riley. Allow me to reitterate what I have said before." Juliet began as she hunted down a first aid kit. She managed to find one and began to wrap her boiled and fried hand in the Ace wrap inside. "There are three things I hate most in the world. The first is that pond scum Derek. The second is smokers. And the third, but not the least, is ONION RINGS!" she exclaimed as she finished wrapping her hand and put the ice on it. "Thank you for the ice pack by the by."

Riley's hand froze half way to her mouth. She slowly turned to Juliet, seeming perfectly calm. However, her eyes showed that she was a few seconds from breaking something. "What did you just say about the god-food?" She growled quietly, dropping her onion rings back into the container. "I must be hearing things. I thought I heard you say that you didn't like onion rings!" Riley laughed. "If you said that, then well I might just SNAP YOUR NECK." And with that, the aviatrix hurled herself off of her seat with a cry of 'THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK OF THE ONION RINGS BLASPHEMOUSLY!'

Juliet covered up her ears. "IDONTLIKEONIONRINGSIDONTLIKEONIONRINGSIDONTLIKEONIONRINGS!!!!!" she chanted while running around the kitchen like a spazzy maniac. She then took an onion ring and threw it down the garbage disposal shouting "BEGONE SATAN!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Josephine conveniently wandered into the kitchen at this point after deciding she rather fancied a nice spot of tea and perhaps some cookies. She had walked in on the most ridiculous conversation... or perhaps argument... in the history of planet earth. Or at least she thought so.
Her rather loud swear also turned out to be rather fitting after Juliet's shout of 'BEGONE SATAN'.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Riley wailed as the onion ring was hurled into the garbage disposal. However, she soon fell silent and paused her running around the kitchen as she saw Jo standing in the doorway. "Oh. Hey Jo. Erm... Onion ring?" She grinned sheepishly and held out an onion ring. Of course, even the sudden appearance of her relative didn't stop Riley from shooting a glare that could melt through the sun at Juliet. "I was just...teaching Jules about the food groups."

Juliet snorted and then picked up another onion ring. "This, my friend, is no food. THIS IS A SIGN OF THE DEVIL. Like a pentagram or six sixes!!!" she exclaimed like a preacher on a rant. "BEWARE!!!!!! AN ONION RING IS PURE EVIL FRIED IN TAINTED BREADING!!!! IT WILL ALLOW HELL TO ESCAPE YOUR BOWLS OUT YOUR UNDERSIDE!!!!! BEWARE THE NETHEREGIONS OF AN ONION EATER!!!!!"

"Actually Jules, pentagrams and pentacles are used for and symbolise protection... unless they're inverted. But the same goes for the cross symbolized in Christianity." Josephine pointed out, littering the conversation with random facts.
She accepted the Onion Ring from Riley and quickly ate it before Juliet could throw this one in the garbage to.
"The two points at the top of an inverted pentagram symbolise the horns of a goat and the bottom point symbolises..."

Josephine continued to talk as if she was giving an entire college a lecture on pentagrams. She seemed to ignore the fight about onion rings as if she was in her own little world, which was odd for her as usually she did not dabble in the world of facts.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT AND DEMEAN THE INTEGRITY OF THE HOLY GOD FOOD KNOWN AS ONION RINGS!? THE ONION RING PURIFIES THE SOUL AND LEARNS TO FORGIVE ALL NON-BELIEVERS! THE ONION RING IS LIFE! THE ONION RING HOLDS THE KEY TO ALL THAT EVER WAS AND ALL THAT EVER WILL BE! THE ONION RING KNOWS. THE ONION RING KNOOOOOOWS." Riley was shouting at the top of her lungs now and had the box of onion rings cradled gently against her chest like it was the key to the universe or a newborn child. "Shhh little ringlets. It's okay. Your favorite believer Riley will protect you in the warm and acid-y protection of her stomach. Yes. Don't fret." She began stroking the box ever so lightly.

"OH NO, MY POOR DEAR POSSESSED FRIEND. YOU HAVE BEEN SORELY MISLEAD BY THE GOLDEN FALSE IDOL, WHO RULES HIS UNDERWORLD WITH THE GOLDEN STAFF OF TEMPTATION, THAT WHICH THEY CALL THE FRENCH FRY. THE GASEOUS ODOR OF EVIL BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES LIKE THE ONES I SHED FOR YOU, POOR POOR POSSESSED GIRL." Juliet ranted. She really did sound like a preacher at his pedestal. "WE MUST EXORSIZE YOU IMEDIATLY WITH THE HOLY YOGURT OF CLEANSING!!!!"

Josephine had finished her 'lecture' on the pentagram and had wandered over to the toaster. Producing a pack of Poptarts from seemingly nowhere, she began to cook them a packet at a time.

Riley, although a bit caught up in the argument, did happen to notice Jo randomly heating up poptarts. "Uhm. Wut." And with that brilliantly intelligent statement, Riley turned back to Juliet. "AWWWWWWWWWWH HAAAAAAAAILLLL NAWH, JULES. YOGURT IS A HELL-SPAWN AND YOU KNOW IT. NOW, SIMPLY CONVERT TO ONION RING AND ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS SHALL BE SOLVED DAH'LIN." The aviatrix began randomly taking on an accent. "NOW WHAT YOU REALLY NEED IS SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED JUNK FOOD. YOU SEE JO? SHE'S GOT THE RIGHT IDEA. POPTARTS! SUGAR ALL THE WAY HONEY." As if to prove her point, Riley pulled a soda out of who knows where and promptly drank a large gulp. "IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL, SWEETIE!"

"TO THE SEVENTH RING OF THE UNDERWORLD WITH YOUR SODA, I PREFER MY TEA! TEA IS GOOD FOR YOU AND AS LONG AS YOU DON'T BUY AMERICAN SH** IT'S REALLY GOOD." Juliet argued. She knew that all good tea companies took the snips and bits of the high-quality tea leaves and bagged them to be sold to americans because americans would drink anything.